the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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