4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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