there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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