last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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