If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize