her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
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Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
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I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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