apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize