They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
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I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
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She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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