I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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