Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize