It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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