Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize