He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
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so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
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Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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