we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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