Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize