I want to have your abortion
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize