When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize