Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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