Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
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I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
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James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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