see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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