I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
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Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
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So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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