I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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