when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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