he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize