I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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