She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
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