On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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