PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
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Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
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I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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