so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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