ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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