I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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