Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize