i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
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Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
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They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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