Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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