respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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