when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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