next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize