The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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