Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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