he shaved USA in his pubs
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize