her vagine was all disorganized.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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