would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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