My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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