Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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