East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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