There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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