You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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