I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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