do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
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I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
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just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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