why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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